So, a 5.8 earth-shattering earthquake just dropped on Los Angeles, WHICH IS EFFED UP. I am at work right now, and I was all like, “this is so totally the rapture, and I kind of regret a bunch of stuff I did.” Once I realized that things was cool and I wrung the stank urine out of my pants, though, I realized that the only thing I REALLY regret was NOT EATING MORE SANDWICHES. More than anything on the planet, I love sandwiches. Sandwiches, sandwiches, sandwiches. And in short, the lesson I learned today, is that if I am on the verge of death, my last moments will be peaceful, thinking of sandwiches all the while. Also I will fill my pants with stank urine.
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July, 2008
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Last Thoughts Before Impending DEATH!!!
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Tuesday, July 29th, 2008
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San Diego Comic-Con 2008!
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Sunday, July 20th, 2008
AmazingSuperPowers will be at Comic-Con this weekend! Instead of renting a traditional, boring, stationary booth, ASP will be represented by two fully functional human beings! That’s right! Wes and Tony are the booth. These “human beings” are completely mobile, kosher, and devilishly handsome. Unfortunately, we will not be located on the map due to our dynamic nature, and the San Diego Convention Center officials declined our reasonable request for us to have GPS collars that could be used for people to track our whereabouts on a huge jumbotron in the middle of the main exhibition hall.
Consequently, in the spirit of “Where’s Waldo,” if you want to meet the creators of AmazingSuperPowers you’ll have to hunt us down (Here’s a hint: Tony is tall, and Wes wears glasses). If you manage to locate us amongst the 125,000 other attendees, as a reward we’ll kiss your attractive sisters for totally free.
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Live Nudes
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Sunday, July 20th, 2008
Some of you may have noticed or were outraged by the fact that the Live Nudes comic had been trimmed from four panels to three panels. If you missed the boat and never saw the fourth panel, it’s been changed to a link located on the door in the last frame.
So why the change? Simple: We hate you and will do everything in our power to make your life worse. Remember your sandwich that disappeared from the fridge? We ate it. You know that girl who never called you back? We ate that, too. Remember that speeding ticket you got? Well, we had nothing to do with that directly but we support our local police.
In all honesty, we probably don’t hate you. In fact, we’d probably swerve if you were standing in the middle of the street, gazing at us with those large, glistening eyes of yours. The truth is that we received more than a few confused comments and e-mails from individuals who did not understand the strip. In most cases, people were held back from enjoying the strip because they weren’t certain if they understood it.
The fourth panel was included in the first place because of our delight in imagining the demand to check out some live nudes. In fact, not only is the place full, but there is a queue of people outside. We also appreciated the ambiguity of these people being either necrophiliacs or simply curious. Or CSI fans. Or bored. Whatever the reason, you yourself would probably be waiting in that line for the same reason traffic slows down next to a train wreck.
The problem was that people thought there was a huge criminal conspiracy they were missing, were wondering why the guy was being arrested, missed the sign, or something else entirely. The comic was ultimately changed because we decided that it toed the line from “subtle” to “vague.” With three panels, the joke lies in the resiliency of the owner of the strip club in question. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Except in this case, when life gives you dead strippers, the show must go on.
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7/14/2008
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Monday, July 14th, 2008
Guess what! Remember, like, three days ago when you were all like, “Crap! I wish I could update my wardrobe with a load of totally boss tee-shirts designed by my favorite website, Amazing Super Powers!” No? Well, you did. I think. I’m pretty sure at least. The important thing is that now you can! ASP has four new body holsters, for boys and girls alike! And best of all, these shirts can be found on Topatoco, your friendly neighborweb retailer! Topatoco’s got some dang good goods from a troop of super duper comics! So check out some shirts, check out some Topatoco shops, and check out some other comics!
And if this is your first time visiting AmazingSuperPowers, be sure to check out our FAQ to make sure that you are using this site correctly.