There are fires, blackouts, economic collapses, and everything was once better than it is now, but tacos are forever.
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November, 2008
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Universal Truth #1
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Tuesday, November 25th, 2008
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Dreams that Tear Open Your Soul
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Tuesday, November 25th, 2008
The other night someone must have injected some testosterone into my late-night Apple Jacks because I had one of the most intense dreams of my life. And now you are all going to hear about it.
Typically, my dreams are fairly action-packed, but my first year of medical school has filled a lot of my brain-space with paranoia for exams, which I think leaked into the “awesome” lobe of my brain.
The dream: Having finished Gross Anatomy, we moved on to the next course: “Disease Treatment.” Only in this case, we treated diseases by tearing open and climbing into the very fabric of our patients’ souls, which I can only assume was some seriously dark magic.
Having torn a hole in the space-time-spirituality continuum, we reluctantly plummeted into their inner psyche where we battled physical manifestations of their ailments using chainsaws, shotguns, and crossbows. It was terrifying. It was like Osmosis Jones if Rob Zombie did the art direction.
At one point in the dream I was set to battle Hepatitis B, which presented itself startlingly similarly to the queen in Aliens (Copyright apparently doesn’t extend to the subconscious. Yet.) Anyway, I had to battle this thing in a dark cavern with a chainsaw. They wouldn’t let me out until I finished the “treatment.” So I went up against the slimy thing, screaming the entire time out of terror, which foreshadows what my surgical career is probably going to be like.
The dream concluded with a final exam, which began with us firing a handgun at a target and concluded with us having to cross the firing range alive. In retrospect, that’s not too different from the actual process.
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Crisis scenario!!!!
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Monday, November 17th, 2008
So Los Angeles is burning down all around me, and I had to dig my car out from under and inch of ash this morning to drive to work. OOPS.
But it got me thinking “that” thought. You know the one I’m talking about, where you play out a crisis scenario in your head (for most of you it is probably the impending/anticipated zombie invasion), and try and decide what you’d bring and where you’d go.
So far the only thing I have on my list to bring is my glasses. Normally I wear contact lenses to take care of my intensely blurry bat-vision, (Gasp! A webcomicker with glasses, it can’t be true!) but I am certain I could not survive ten minutes in the wild without my glasses.
So help me out folks. When LA burns down and I have to flee, where should I go and what should I bring? What location is a nice refuge for a soot covered dude in thick glasses? What condiments should I bring to go with my crisis hot dogs? What would you do yourself?
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Holiday Battle-Gear
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Monday, November 17th, 2008
This is a reminder that our store in Topatoco is full of sexy designs!
Astro-Diver: BFF
What if the two greatest archetypal explorers of all time were BEST friends? Well, they’d probably do this! They might also get milkshakes, lounge around in a park, go to the arcade, and have sleepovers where they would tell each other scary ghost stories.
Love the Bomb 
It’s easy to stop worrying when you are soaring through the clouds on a mighty steed packed with equal parts magic and uranium. The tricky part is the landing. Read the comic that inspired this shirt here!
The Penny-Farthing 
FACE IT! As part of the top-hat wearing intellectual elite, you find yourself the constant target of mockery and derision for your chosen mode of transport! Stick it to the Man with a shirt that says, “Hey world, I bite my thumb at thee.” Read the comic that inspired this shirt here!
Spongesaurus 
Behold a tribute to the favorite pills of your childhood. No, not your mother’s Valium; instead, these little capsules, when combined with water, unleashed a terrible beast not seen since the Jurassic period. These dinosaurs are terrifying, stylish, and super-absorbent!
(A quick note: Selling these shirts are how we support the rising cost of site without cramming advertising all over it. Sporting one of these beauties is the ultimate way to give us a high-five)
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Genitalia and Ghosts
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Thursday, November 6th, 2008
Yes, we are fully aware of the implications of today’s strip. In this little lock-and-key universe, the fact that the locks are wearing their genitalia proudly on their chests like the Kryptonian “S” of Superman does not escape us. And indeed the men are essentially giant upright penises, bouncing around like Tigger from one adventure to the next.
But that’s not I’m here to talk about. Instead, I’d like to discuss the issue on everyone’s mind today. That’s right. Ghosts. I believe that my driveway is haunted. Hear me out before you callously dismiss me as being paranoid.
I first noticed that something was amiss when I heard intermittent rushing of wind from outside followed by the occasional thud against my window. The only logical conclusion was that these were ghosts staggering around, doomed to fulfill unfinished business. Or they were just bored and clumsy. Either way: Ghosts!
Exhibit 2: I was attempting to carry a fifty-pound package of seeds into the apartment (in an unrelated project to grow my own firewood in my backyard) when it spilled open, scattering a handfuls of seeds all over the porch. “I’ll clean it up in the morning,” I thought, not suspecting that ghouls would intervene (a foolish thought, I know). The next morning, I stumbled out to my front porch still tipsy from my breakfast Windex, and all of the seeds were gone! Unaware that ghosts liked eating tree fetuses so much, I slammed the door behind me as I cowered in fear and quietly hiccupped bubbles.
After three days of sitting by the door listening to the ghosts mill around and chirp to one another in their high-pitched ghost language, the sounds finally subsided and I ventured outside armed with a Dirt-Devil to capture any ghosts that might show themselves.
I investigated the area, and the evidence of ghosts was strikingly clear. There was bright white ectoplasm all over my car and the sidewalk. And it must have been cold because I found a few feathers that likely spilled out of one of the ghosts wearing a down jacket.
This message was a warning. If I suddenly disappear, get your (anti) ghost-gun. It might already be too late.