Frequently Asked Questions and One-Time Answers

Q: What is
A: is a website.
Q: Who are you guys?
A: We are Wes and Tony.
Q: How do you guys actually look?
A: Good.
Q: Where can I find
A: can be found on the internet. It can be reached by going to
Q: What can be found on
A: The possibilities are endless. The actualities, however, are not.
Q: Why can’t I see your banner?
A: If you can’t see it, how do you know it’s not there? Also, you must not have Flash installed. And if you don’t have Flash, what are you doing on the internet anyway?
Q: How frequently is your site updated?
A: Very frequently. In fact it was just updated as you were reading this. Please refresh the page.
Q: I just refreshed the page, what’s different?
A: Look closely.
Q: How do I know when a new comic is posted?
A: Ask someone if the current day is Monday or Thursday. If they say no, ask again tomorrow. If yes, there is a new comic. Or just subscribe to our RSS Feed.
Q: What do you guys do in your spare time?
A: Most of our spare time is spent at the batting cages, at the movie theater, or wasting our time on websites such as youtube, wikipedia, and
Q: How frequently asked are these questions anyway?
A: Just once. By us.
Q: Why do you guys like the Futura font so much?
A: It is the only font that lives on the moon.
Q: How come your domain name is so long?
A: It may be a little longer to type than the average domain, but it’s worth the extra awesome. Also, it needs to be longer because we don’t really know how to use it yet.
Q: I’m having problems with my t-shirt order.
A: Odds are that Topatoco can answer your question better than us.
Q: Who is the slug on the top of the page?
A: That's Godslug.
Q: Is he God?
A: You weren't listening. He's Godslug.
Q: What's the deal with updating on Mondays and Thursdays?
A: We have a very detailed explanation for that.
Q: You guys have a bunch of comics where bad things happen to children. Did you have horrible childhoods or something?
A: No, dad, and no, mom. Stop asking.
Q: What's your major driving force?
A: Verbs.
Q: My computer is slow and bites me sometimes.
A: This is because your computer is a dinosaur and you are trapped in the Mesozoic Era. We suggest waiting.
Q: What do you think happens to us after we die?
A: This site will probably receive fewer questions.
  Q: What is the funniest letter of the alphabet?
  A: P.
Q: What made you guys start this site?
A: Tony wanted to become a Comic while Wes wanted to Strip for a living, so we combined our talents.
Q: Do you guys have any cool tattoos?
A: No.
Q: Have either of you ever had a near-death experience?
A: Wes once watched a movie where a character dies, and Tony was born alongside a stillborn twin.
Q: How do you guys sleep at night?
A: Smugly.
Q: What type of mystical poison should be used when attempting to cast your victim's psyche into the deepest bowels of eternal, hopeless dementia?
A: The fevered blood of Don Quixote.
Q: So how did Wes and Tony meet?
A: Last year's Save the Dodo Walk-a-thon.
Q: If you guys could be someone else, who would you be?
A: Wes would be Tony, and Tony would be two Tonys.
Q: Hey, why hasn't the site been updated?
A: Wes' Xbox 360 gamertag is "MrWesticles" and Tony's is "computergames"
  Q: What kind of car do you drive?
  A: Honda.
Q: What is your least favorite hobby?
A: Bleeding to death.
Q: Who are your greatest heroes?
A: Those who fight for our right to be free.
Q: I'm going to the store. Did you want me to pick up anything?
A: Naw, we have too many frogs as it is.
Q: What's your greatest fear?
A: Fear itself. Just kidding. It's marmots.
Q: What programs do you use to draw your comics?
Q: Do you have any advice for aspiring comic artists?
A: Encourage all of your would-be competitors to quit. Also, you should quit.
Q: Help! My relatives are trying to rip me off!
A: Quiet, grandpa.
Q: Who would win in a knife fight, Wes or Tony?
A: Tony's arms are twice as long as Wes', but Wes has hands that are made of knives.
Which would make it hard for him to hold the knife he is fighting with. So probably Tony.
Q: Are any pages on your site a complete waste of space?
A: The answer to your question can be found here.
Q: Why is the sky blue?
A: Because its parents never loved it.
Q: What's the most difficult decision you've had to make?
A: Which child.
A: No.
Q: I heard you guys are slightly psychic. Is this true?
Q: How should I propose to my girlfriend?
A: On bended knee. In fact, the more you bend it, the more it means that you love her. If the bone breaks the skin, it was meant to be.
Q: I'm having trouble finding your comic in my local newspaper.
A: Your newspaper may not have the latest version of FireFox installed.
Q: How do you guys fund your website?
A: Time-tested strategies.
Q: What's the worst injury you have sustained?
A: A broken heart. Caused by a knife.
Q: Can I send you comic ideas?
A: Yes, if you want to surrender all intellectual rights and receive no credit whatsoever.
Q: What should I do if I'm on fire?!
A: Wait it out. It's a problem that solves itself.
Q: Hey! One of your comics appears to be vaguely similar to another one I saw somewhere! Are you pirates?!
A: Nope. We take our originality and creativity very seriously, but in the infinity-pit that is the internet there's bound to be slight overlap.
  Q: What is the human body?
  A: A machine capable of transforming tacos into high-fives.
Q: What do you guys do for a living?
A: Mostly this, on occasion this, and a smidgen of this.
Q: What makes you guys tick?
A: The bomb that's implanted inside of us.
Q: What do you believe is the fate of the internet?
A: Skynet but with porn.
Q: Are there any new features to the site?
A: It glows when orcs are nearby.
Q: If you could sell your soul to Satan, for what would you sell it?
A: More souls.
Q: Could there be intelligent life from other planets?
A: We choose to remain neutral in that debate.
Q: What are your religious beliefs?
A: Tony is a wizard. Wes is a Jew.
Q: What language do you guys code in?
A: English.
Q: Are "Wes" and "Tony" your real names?
A: Actually, those are alter-egos. These are the real Wes and Tony.
Q: How much are you guys worth?
A: Tony graduated from college and Wes has $3.55 in change distributed throughout his body.
Q: What will you guys be doing in five years?
A: Finally finding out the answer to your question.
  Q: Why haven't you updated your FAQ recently?
  A: For questions about the site, please see our FAQ.
Q: Do you have any superpowers?
A: Yes. We can time-travel. Of course, we can only go forward. And at a constant rate.
Q: I don't have an e-mail address. How else can I contact you?
A: There are plenty of alternate methods.
Q: What are your views on NASA's space program?
A: They focus too much on exploration and not enough on conquering.
Q: Seriously, does refreshing do anything?
A: No. But keep trying.
Q: I would like to advertise my penis enlargement product to you, where can I send you advertisements?
A: Please send to right away.
Q: Where can I send either of you guys e-mail?
A: We can be reached at . If urgent, please put “Penis Enlargement” in the subject line.
Q: Can I print your strip in my [insert publication here]?
A: Most likely. Send us an e-mail.
Q: Is your site covered under this license?
A: Yeah. You can copy and paste all that you want, as long as you cite it and don't sell it commercially.
A: Hi.
Q: What?