All that and they still sit on the bench.
Middle school coaches have an innate ability to find the two biggest assholes in the class and award them undeserved power. It’s actually a funny little microcosm of the two-party political system in America. Either you get Nick Duschane who gives you titty twisters and supports unlawful NSA wiretaps, or you wind up with Brett Kokinis who calls you a “gaywad” and opposes “gaywad marriage.” It wasn’t until years after middle school that the poster for the first Aliens vs Predator movie supplied me with the appropriate axiom, “Whoever Wins, We Lose. Especially if it’s Brett Kokinis.”
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In other news, one of our good friends just made something called Hotspot. It’s an event-planning app that lets you make group hangouts in real time. He and his team are good dudes, so check out the video or the app itself and see if that sounds like something you’d be interested in!