''I've lost my marbles! And now the toilet is broken.''
You’re all familiar with the smash hit classic toys out there, even if you had no clue how to use them. I had marbles and jacks growing up, but I have never played either games properly. Closest I ever got was gouging my foot on jacks by stepping on them, or breaking the glass on the coffee table by throwing marbles in the air to see if I could catch them (I could not).
But beyond Etch-a-Sketches, Rubik’s Cubes, and Mr Potato Heads, here are a few classic toys you might have missed that are totally real and I didn’t make up:
My First Bear Mace
It’s good to teach kids about the practicalities of safe hiking, but selling cute little canisters of wildlife-grade pepper spray was probably a mistake. Though when kids inevitably blinded themselves, it did teach them the dangers associated with being a bear.
Barbie with Real Human Hair
Okay this is a strange one. Not that there’s anything necessarily wrong with Barbie having real human hair, but it was the fact it was all over the promotional materials. “Barbie with Real Human Hair Plays Tennis.” “Barbie with Real Human Hair Custom Convertible.” “Barbie with Real Human Hair and her Cabin Made From Real Human Bones.”
This is perhaps the weirdest thing to get a kid. For a while you could buy a small animal separated from its mother and raise it like another child. Then, over the course of more than a decade, you can watch this toy grow old and die in front of you. Realistic, sure, but also super morbid. I’m not sure if they still make these but I’d be surprised if they did.
And that’s just a glimpse of the odd things we buy for children. At least before all toys were replaced by iPads.