The grass is always greener on the other side, and that goes for planets, too. Sure, everyone gets really excited about the prospect of taking a one-way ship to Mars or even towards a distant star, but I guarantee you that you’d be bored in an instant.

Here’s a fun fact: Did you know that Neil Armstrong and friends were supposed to be on the moon for three years? But when they landed, after collecting some rocks and bouncing around a little bit, they were bored out of their skulls. They had literally done everything there is to do on the moon in a span of two minutes. If you read the transcripts, five or six times Buzz Aldrin says “Man, I wish we had an xbox up here.”

So let other people worry about space while you kick back here on Earth, because that’s where all the cool shit is. Everyone went nuts a couple weeks ago when they found water on Mars. Water! Let me know when they find beer.