Today’s comic is called “Last Request,” and it is about bad things happening to people.
Also, here is a drawing of a pair of cats. I believe it comes from England.
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“Last Request”
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August 14th, 2008
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Obama Pledges No Bedtime, Ice Cream for Breakfast
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August 9th, 2008
I don’t have the desire to try to hone in the The Onion’s territory, for they bring pseudo-news to an art form. But there were a few headlines threatening to burst from my forehead so here they are (click to enlarge):
(Also, special thanks to Jim H. for the main headline that prompted this)
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Harry Potter and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
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August 5th, 2008
Let me start off by saying that Harry Potter has done plenty of good. It has encouraged kids to read, popularized wizardry, and it has made a single mother rich. I do, however, protest its literary shortcomings. What worries me is that years from now, when the young Harry Potter fanatics grow up to become teachers, principles, and superintendents, they will see it as a “classic” and approve it as a required reading in schools.
I’d like to point out the similarities between the Potter universe and that of one of the most iconic set of characters created by humans. Correct, I’m speaking of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
What the Hell do the Ninja Turtles have to do with Harry Potter? The four turtles have distinct personalities, right? And a reoccurring dynamic within Hogwarts is between the four houses. Let’s see if we can play sorting hat and find homes for these turtles:
- Leonardo: Brave, chivalrous, leader of the turtles, and a strong sense of honor. Seems like a gorgeous match for those courageous numbskulls in Gryffindor.
- Michelangelo: Loyal, easy-going, accepting, and identifies well with the common folk. That fellow would be amongst friends in Hufflepuff.
- Donatello: Brains of the turtles, creative, and wise. Such a bookworm would quickly be typecast as a Ravenclaw.
- Raphael: Slytherin. Duh.
As of now we’ve straightforwardly placed the four turtles into the four houses. Now, for both the wizards and the turtles, if only there was some calm, elderly mentor with long, grey hair who occasionally showed great mastery in the craft that he taught to his pupils.
Oh wait. I guess it turns out that Splinter and Dumbledore would make good poker buddies.
The when I first noticed this alignment I felt a bit cheated. I’m far from saying that Rowling ripped off TMNT. Rather, I think it’s silly that this literary piece that we are likely to see in schools someday lines up so well with an 80s pop culture craze starring four hominid turtles that practice ninjutsu. Also, they are teenagers. Who love pizza*.
There you have it. I’ve heard claims that Harry Potter is similar in storyline to Star Wars. Meh. There’s more alignment in the Manhattan sewers. And Hell, even with their differing personalities the turtles work as a team much more readily than the four houses in Rowling’s saga of owls, thinly-veiled Holocaust allegories, and long-term camping trips.
*Yes, in the Harry Potter series it’s never explicitly said that the kids love pizza. But c’mon, what teenagers don’t? I’ve had pizza in Britain. That shit is delicious.
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Last Thoughts Before Impending DEATH!!!
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July 29th, 2008
So, a 5.8 earth-shattering earthquake just dropped on Los Angeles, WHICH IS EFFED UP. I am at work right now, and I was all like, “this is so totally the rapture, and I kind of regret a bunch of stuff I did.” Once I realized that things was cool and I wrung the stank urine out of my pants, though, I realized that the only thing I REALLY regret was NOT EATING MORE SANDWICHES. More than anything on the planet, I love sandwiches. Sandwiches, sandwiches, sandwiches. And in short, the lesson I learned today, is that if I am on the verge of death, my last moments will be peaceful, thinking of sandwiches all the while. Also I will fill my pants with stank urine.
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San Diego Comic-Con 2008!
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July 20th, 2008
AmazingSuperPowers will be at Comic-Con this weekend! Instead of renting a traditional, boring, stationary booth, ASP will be represented by two fully functional human beings! That’s right! Wes and Tony are the booth. These “human beings” are completely mobile, kosher, and devilishly handsome. Unfortunately, we will not be located on the map due to our dynamic nature, and the San Diego Convention Center officials declined our reasonable request for us to have GPS collars that could be used for people to track our whereabouts on a huge jumbotron in the middle of the main exhibition hall.
Consequently, in the spirit of “Where’s Waldo,” if you want to meet the creators of AmazingSuperPowers you’ll have to hunt us down (Here’s a hint: Tony is tall, and Wes wears glasses). If you manage to locate us amongst the 125,000 other attendees, as a reward we’ll kiss your attractive sisters for totally free.