Public Speakingon October 24, 2013 at 5:00 am
Considering today’s society, why is it embarrassing to have a boner in public?
The biological imperative to reproduce is the cornerstone of human civilization. Why does anyone do anything? To get it on! To get freaky-deaky. To put things in things and move those things around until those things do other things that make you feel things. Maybe a baby comes out afterwards. It depends on how many things you put on/in your thing, or what type of thing the other thing is put inside of, if a thing is getting put in another thing at all. Did you follow that? Of course you did, you’re bright.
So you see what I’m sayin’. The arts, finance, science. It doesn’t matter what field you pursue, your subconscious animal nature is steering you like a fleshy shopping cart, trying to pick up the breads, meats and cheese necessary to make a Viable Mate Sandwich. Feelings, income, smarts. All of ‘em are there to make people want to touch your thing. And fashion, too! Hairstyles, clothes, makeup! Pretty packaging! It’s why some ladies stick bags of stuff into their boobers and make them twice the size of their heads, or why some people get spare fat sucked out of them with a shop-vac, or why some dudes get a sparse valley of almost-hair stamped into their bleeding noggins. People want to be wanted, and they’ll get weird as hell to make that happen.
So I guess what I’m getting at is, I’m amazed that everyone isn’t walking around with giant, fake, chrome-with-floor-lights-and-spinning-rims boners sticking out of their pants. The girls, too! You mark my words, pretty soon every man, woman and child on god’s green earth is going to be walking around with Truck Nutz for humans hanging off the front of their pants. They’ll call ‘em Human Nutz. Big, fake Nutz that are the logical extension of our broken, awful nature.
I was puzzled about what the punchline in the third panel was supposed to be. Then I noticed his pants.
Well played, Wes and Tony, well played.
Only works if the audience is older than you… MUCH older than you.
What if they’re younger than you, like kindergartener– oh god, it’s happening again
Fact: King George VI’s stutter was caused by his fear of the public seeing his erection
At this point the Rabbi declared him a man.
A podium is something you stand on, a lectern is something you stand behind.
*pushes up glasses*
Thank you, yes.
See, there’s the second joke! The podiums were made to make the awkward boners even more noticeable to the viewing public!
Here… have my like.
But don’t get too close, because of his erection . . . and ours
2: b: Lectern.
Therefore, you make an unnecessary point. A Podium is also something you stand behind to hide boners in public. Or on. Depends on your goal regarding your boner and public viewing.
Hey, is that Jim and Dwight?
Back in the Dark-Medieval ages, it was hip to rock that codpiece and dick shoes (which was supposed to be a 1:1 replica of the size of your thing) to show off your manhood! You know what they say about men with big dick shoes.
The hidden comic made me loose my shit. Well done.