Considering today’s society, why is it embarrassing to have a boner in public?

The biological imperative to reproduce is the cornerstone of human civilization. Why does anyone do anything? To get it on! To get freaky-deaky. To put things in things and move those things around until those things do other things that make you feel things. Maybe a baby comes out afterwards. It depends on how many things you put on/in your thing, or what type of thing the other thing is put inside of, if a thing is getting put in another thing at all. Did you follow that? Of course you did, you’re bright.

So you see what I’m sayin’. The arts, finance, science. It doesn’t matter what field you pursue, your subconscious animal nature is steering you like a fleshy shopping cart, trying to pick up the breads, meats and cheese necessary to make a Viable Mate Sandwich. Feelings, income, smarts. All of ‘em are there to make people want to touch your thing. And fashion, too! Hairstyles, clothes, makeup! Pretty packaging! It’s why some ladies stick bags of stuff into their boobers and make them twice the size of their heads, or why some people get spare fat sucked out of them with a shop-vac, or why some dudes get a sparse valley of almost-hair stamped into their bleeding noggins. People want to be wanted, and they’ll get weird as hell to make that happen.

So I guess what I’m getting at is, I’m amazed that everyone isn’t walking around with giant, fake, chrome-with-floor-lights-and-spinning-rims boners sticking out of their pants. The girls, too! You mark my words, pretty soon every man, woman and child on god’s green earth is going to be walking around with Truck Nutz for humans hanging off the front of their pants. They’ll call ‘em Human Nutz. Big, fake Nutz that are the logical extension of our broken, awful nature.