Worm Foodon January 19, 2015 at 6:00 am
Why do we bother with coffins? Remember how in middle school, your teacher gave you some vague lesson about how the Native Americans used to put seeds inside of fish and then buried that fishseed so it would grow into a beautiful baby tree with all the nutrients and fish it needs? We should have learned from that and started doing it with corpses. As cool as radical evil-angel headstones are, it would be so much more practical to grow a little forest from seeds jammed up in the bodies of the dead. It would solve so many problems, deforestation, children not having enough apples to eat that were grown from their great-grandparents’ brain jellies. When I die, I want someone to shove an avocado bulb up in me so that once a year, maybe on my birthday, my friends and family can have a big guacamole fiesta party and eat the fruits of my chumped-up, dead-as-hell body. That, truly, would be the best way to honor me.
There is another alternative. You could donate your body to The Body Farm in Knoxville TN. Forensic anthropologists study decomposition and injuries to the donated bodies. CSI work at its best, and if you are within 200 miles of Knoxville, they will pick you up for free. Nice to be useful after you’re gone, and no big bill for putting you in the ground.
I could call some blow flies. Maggots okay?
I’ve gathered a bit of information about various cultures’ death practices and it seems that climate has the most to do with it
egyptians were cool with letting stuff dry out because that’s how it’s naturally done, but some other middle eastern cultures.. jews etc.. would seal people up in a stone cave so they could rot properly, then seal their bones up in a shelf covered by cement. If they didnt do the cave, they’d never rot right.. but europeans live in a moister, colder climate.. if you didnt put people in boxes, animals might dig them up. and something something the climate inside a coffin something something
I wouldn’t mind being buried with some apple seeds in me
An apple a day helps that guy decay…
It’s already happening!
You guys are spending a lot a time masturbating between comics lately. Please plan more carefully.