I once was told that you aren’t supposed to keep condoms in your wallet because the everyday wear and tear of your butt can destroy them. That person went on to recommend that you keep condoms in an empty Altoids container on your person at all times. To me, this seemed like a great way to set yourself up for trouble later:
“Oh great, can I have a mint?”
“Uh! No. You can’t. Sorry.”
“I can’t tell you.”
Also, if you are carrying Altoids IN ADDITION to your secret condom canister, this is exactly how you would absent-mindedly choke on a condom while driving. So the lesson here is to never practice safe sex ever.

Happy holidays!