With smartphones, digital watches, and electric cars, lasers are clearly an inevitability. We as humanity already use the powers of lasers for good in the form of eye surgery and spicing up raves, but it’s honestly surprisingly we haven’t been able to unlock their potential for evil yet. Our forefathers pulled it off years ago by turning fun firework celebrations into instruments of destruction, so what’s holding lasers back?

My theory is that REAL lasers are entirely underwhelming to look at. They’re invisible! Sure, we dream of a futuristic hellscape illuminated by laser beams and the dazzling annihilation of everything we hold dear, but tragically the sound and look of an everyday laser is about as impressive as an old glowstick.