The military would be the most fun ever (if it weren’t for all the war). You fly around in helicopters, you have a cool uniform, and this is all while you’re in the best shape of your life (unless you get shot at). It’s no surprise that Boy Scouts is basically military training for children, since it would be a real hoot (minus the occasional deployment to strange lands where the locals feel justified in hating you and try to kill you).

Think about it. You get a long vacation away from the hassles of everyday civilian life (where you slowly forget the sound of your loved ones’ voices). The people surrounding you quickly become your best friends (because nothing brings people closer together than shared trauma). And most of all, when you do come home, people appreciate that you enlisted (because they really really really didn’t want to go themselves). I’m surprised the US ever needed a draft, this cool organization practically sells itself.

Anyway, join the army (or don’t)!