Half of school crimes seem to be locker related. It’s a popular bullying trope to get shoved inside a locker. Bullies have been doing this for years, to the point where we need to think of a better way to solve this problem. And here’s how: make the inside of lockers awesome. Like vertical Japanese sleeping tubes, school lockers could be tiny personal areas for when you need a little time to yourself. “Oh no, you’re going to shove me into my safe space where I can listen to music and play pokemon? Oh no dooon’t!”

Speaking of those Japanese sleeping tubes, I’m shocked that these haven’t taken off in the states. If I’m traveling to a big city for just a night or two, I’d be thrilled to sleep in a little capsule for a fraction of the price. I want to sleep in a tube, travel in a pneumatic tube, and eat nutrient paste from a tube. I’m looking forward to our tube-based future. It’s not like I really leave the same 5 foot radius when I’m in my apartment anyway so I might as well store my living body in a giant spice rack.

The 80s had it right when they called cool things “tubular.”