Dolphin Safeon March 20, 2014 at 5:00 am
My list of smug animals who deserve to be eaten for being so smug:
2. Bottle Nose Dolphins
The first bottle I crack open will be a bottle of whoop-ass. The second bottle I open will be the bottle nose dolphin’s nose, so I could slurp out its insides, effectively eating it.
3. Orca Whale Dolphin
Think you’re pretty cute, huh? See how cute you are living in my colon.
4. The White-Beaked Dolphin
My beak is about to red with your guts, you smug son of a bitch.
Why are you always smiling? What do you have to be smiling about. I will eat you. I will eat you until you understand the misery the rest of us live with.
6. Long-Snouted Spinner Dolphins
Are you fucking kidding me? Eaten.
7. Melon-Headed Dolphins
I’ll crack your head open like a ripe dolphin head, and then eat it!
8. Regular-Ass Normal Dolphins Again
You deserve worse than me eating you, dolphins. Consider this a favor.
This is my duty, and I will see it through to the end. So long, dolphins, and thanks for all the YOU in my tuna cans. It’s the sweetest part.
have you ever tried dolphin meat? f’n delicious!
Meh, not interested in beef with fish flavor. Kinda gamey as well.
Dolphins are smart animals. They do not deserve to be eaten.
Don’t forget the narwhale (Monodon monoceros): no one should be allowed to pretend they are “the unicorn of the sea!”
Weird drawings today.
Actually, using “downer” dolphins for food is prohibited in order to prevent the spread of mad dolphin disease.
I am not a Lococotime-tivie.
I knew a dolphin once. He used to smoke menthols and blow the smoke out his blowhole right in my face. He ran ran the largest dolphin heroin distribution ring in North America. Some dolphins deserve to be eaten.
c’mon, no one has picked up the obvious beaver joke?
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
I saw The Cove, you know what I learned ? If you want delicious dolphin meat, you just have to buy cheap whale meat.
Beavers should be eaten for more reasons than being smug…