Road Ruleson October 3, 2013 at 5:00 am
A car in the wrong hands is a weapon, just like a weapon in the right hands is a car. My first “car” was a hand-me-down. My family couldn’t afford new wheels for me when I turned sixteen, so they gave me my grandpa’s old Howitzer artillery cannon. I was a little surprised at first, all my other friends had Hondas and Volvos. I had a Howitzer. The first day I took my artillery cannon to school, I was afraid everyone would laugh at me. Instead, they were terrified! It was then that I realized that having a artillery cannon for a car might actually be pretty cool. I bought a leather jacket and some big sunglasses. And I mean BIG sunglasses. I had to use an industrial adhesive putty to keep them on my face. Life was radical. It was a pretty steep learning curve trying to operate an artillery cannon as a car, but once I got the hang of it… man! There’s no better feeling than having a two-ton barrel of steel between your legs, spitting hot death out behind you and propelling you down the interstate. The wind in your hair. The smell of sulfur. The shrieks and screams of the hapless, mangled traffic behind you. That’s true freedom. Just you, the road, and your grandpa’s artillery cannon that you’re using as a car.
this guy is on my level
thank you based god
Ah yes, high school: fun times, fun times…
I can’t remember I ever laughed as hard at something on the internet as I did just now at Tony’s little text!
Old Bess, what a great car!
Man, your old car must’ve been really BANGed up
The text’s of late have been top notch.
I no longer miss the “Here’s a comic! and it was hard work, what with Tony cultivating maddness while Wess was busy changing his socks”… type texts.
First time I read one of the texts below the comic, I’m not even sure the other comics have them. But damn it was awsome! x)
So I guess you could say Tony’s first car was an… *puts on glasses* Old Banger? HYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!
I tried using a weapon as a car once. Now the doctor tells me I can’t have children.
Totally worth it though!
So in short, your first car was… *sunglasses* a blast!
Oh man these texts! Goddamn hilarious! You guys make my favorite comics with the texts alone.