Happy Halloween, everyone! What a scary comic, right? No, no, not because of the ghosts! And, no! Not because of the sex offender either! I WISH it were as lightweight as ghosts, sex offenders, or sex offending ghosts. The truly scary thing about this comic is the idea of having to admit to your neighbors everything you’ve done wrong. Face to face! It gets me shaking in my little leather booties just thinking about telling my neighbors my wrongdoings, even if they aren’t nearly as reprehensible as using sex to offend.

I done some (kinda) bad stuff. When I was six I would tie earthworms in knots and throw them at people. A couple years ago I put a six inch gash into an apartment ceiling with a calvary sword, filled it with toothpaste and hoped no one would notice (no one ever did!!). I’ve peed so many public places, on so many public things. A Hasidic Jew once saw me and shook his head at me and it made me feel really, really bad. These are all things I will freely admit over the internet, but I’d sooner DIE than knock on my neighbor’s door and tell them. Thank god none of them are illegal! Except for the public urination.

Hrm. In the spirit of subverting TERROR, feel free to anonymously admit a shameful secret here.