I’ve never been evicted, and that’s because I’ve never had an apartment. I’m living off the grid, baby! A wandering website-running vagabond. Pretty sure there was a Neil Young song about that. I think it was called, “Kickass Vagabond Tony, What a Handsome Dude, I’d Kiss Him If I Could, But It Would Never Happen Because He’s Too Busy Being His Own Multinational Enterprise of Babe-a-Licious Attraction, How *Does* He Do It? (Parts 1 & 2) ”

You’re probably thinking, “Isn’t it a little backwards to be running a website if you’re trying to live off the grid?” Well, smarty-pants, the answer is a big, obese, Cheeto-munching “NO.” I’m hiding in plain sight! The internet is the new norm; everyone’s on it. Only outliers avoid being on the internet, and you could easily find and kill ’em all by setting fire to the dumb woods in Montana that they’re all hiding in! I’m the Where’s Waldo of the crowded fairgrounds that is the internet. AmazingSuperPowers is the Wizard! And Wes, well, he’s like one of the scrolls I guess.

Anyone who searches for me or the site is going to get distracted and wind up somewhere else! Search for “AmazingSuperPowers” and you’ll only get as far as “Ama” before accidentally going to Amazon or an Ask Me Anything with Dink Flurtman, creator of some crappy pandering BBC show, who will only spend a single sentence hastily answering your question before spending a paragraph trying to sell you the special edition Blu Ray of his *other* crappy pandering show. Or if search for “Tony” you only get as far as “To” before you start writing “To my One True Love, Dink Flurtman” because you really, really love that guy and can’t wait to buy all the things he’s trying to sell you. Thanks, Dink, for being my human shield in this modern technological warzone. You die so that I may live another day. Rule of the jungle, baby.