I have never been to England! I will never go! And you can’t make me, you are not my mom (unless you are my Mom, because she reads this site, everyone please say hi to Anna), but you are not my mother and you CAN’T MAKE ME GO TO ENGLAND.

Do I have anything against England? Absolutely not. I have arbitrarily decided right here and now that I will never go to England. Right in this very moment. I’m sure England is a fine country, filled with fine English people. I’m sure it is! I’m sure. But look at it this way, you’re not going to read every book in a library. You’re not going to watch every movie on Netflix. You barely watch anything in your queue as it is! So you might as well start picking things that you will never do. It’s liberating. The sheer vastness of possibility viewed through the lens of a miniscule human life is, quite frankly, insulting on a cosmic level! So piss in god’s face with me, and Pick Things To Never Do!

Throw roller skates in the trash before you buy them! You’re never going to use them! Fill your neighbor’s pool with cement! You’re never going to learn to swim! Walk into a convenience store and smash all of their “Dr Pepper 10” with a sledgehammer! You are never going to drink it! What even is that? I’ve seen commercials but still don’t understand! LIBERATION THROUGH LIMITATIONS, PICK THINGS TO NEVER DO!