The Bible is full of all types of crazy stuff! Did you know there’s a whole story about a dude who built a boat and he put EVERY ANIMAL into it because God felt like drowning everyone? And there’s another story about a dude who walked on water before turning his friend into a zombie? And in one section, it casually describes the END of the WORLD?

How in the hell is church boring when religion is full of the coolest, most radical tales? Maybe they should worry less about which foods you’re allowed to eat and strangers’ sexual preferences and instead focus on the FLOODS and EXPLOSIONS and ANIMAL BOATS.