Lately, I’ve been flying on more planes than I usually do, and because I’m not a huge fan of selling my kidneys to pay for a single trip, I’ve been taking overnight flights. This usually places me in a situation of trying to sleep in a plane, which for most people is like attempting to run a marathon with one leg. And the person behind you is constantly kicking your leg. Also, the leg has mediocre beverage service.

Here is the solution: Exchange most of the seating on the plane for sleeping tubes. Already the Japanese are using something similar for inexpensive hotels, and it has been featured in the movie the “Fifth Element.” If we shrink that system and stick it in a real plane, we’ll see a host of benefits.

First, and most importantly, you’ll be able to sleep. Even if you are taking a daytime flight, lying down and relaxing would still be wonderful. And if you have been traveling all day, you certainly could use a nap. Also, if you are wide awake because one of the condoms full of cocaine burst in your stomach, then you can watch a movie or a TV show on the monitor installed on the ceiling above you.

With narrow tubes arranged in a matrix with an aisle in the middle, we’d be able to fit more people in the plane because we’d be able to use more vertical space, which means more seating on a given flight.

Imagine this but smaller and faster.

Imagine this but smaller and faster.

Granted there are some concerns. The first is being able to use a laptop. I imagine there would be some regular seating at the front of the plane for the chronic businessperson who insists on working during the flight. Most of the plane, however, would be tubes.

Also, there is a legitimate concern of people doing the horizontal no-pants dance in the tubes. While I personally don’t have a problem with this (as long as the tubes can be easily hosed out), we could solve that by making the door on the tube made out of clear plexiglass.

More of our problems should be solved by sticking them into tubes.