Wes and Tony are Real People!!on April 8, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Did you know that?
Yes, the truth is that AmazingSuperPowers.com is run by actual human people beings. While it initially might seem likely that the site exists out of simple chance within the glut of infinite possibility that is the internet, it simply isn’t the case. The site has creators! Who created the site deliberately!
Let me tell you some facts about the site creators, Wes and Tony:
FACT: Wes and Tony have a combined age of 121 years.
FACT: One of the two is an infant.
FACT: One of the two wears diapers.
FACT: But both of them should.
FACT: AmazingSuperPowers.com was begrudgingly created to satisfy a stipulation of a federal court ruling against Wes and Tony.
FACT: They either had to create a website or perform 2,000 hours of community service.
FACT: The charge against them was treason.
FACT: 2,000 hours community service ain’t bad for treason.
FACT: Wes once found a Chinese Fortune Cookie that has his entire life (past, present, and future) written on it.
FACT: Things don’t end well for Wes.
FACT: But the Chow Mein was delicious.
FACT: Wes and Tony frequently arm wrestle.
FACT: Tony’s arm wears a luchador mask.
FACT: Wes’ arm looks like this.
FACT: Tony’s favorite seasoning for french fries is itching powder.
FACT: Wes and Tony once went on tour with Bruce “the Boss” Springsteen.
FACT: Their position in the band was, “Those two assholes who keep following us around and don’t leave the Boss alone.”
FACT: Wes and Tony didn’t leave “the Boss” alone until he told them they were “fired.”
FACT: You cannot collect unemployment from the federal government if “fired” by Bruce Springsteen.
FACT: Tony is illiterate and has scabies.
FACT: Wes is a simple farmer from rural Portugal, charged with the task of finding and killing his shadow self before he is killed in turn.
FACT: Now you know everything there is to know about Wes and Tony.