Warning: strtotime(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

Warning: strtotime(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

Hey Kid, Wanna Buy a Zebra?


Warning: strtotime(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/link-template.php on line 113

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/link-template.php on line 138

Went to the Portand Zoo last week. As far as zoos go, it is one of the less depressing ones, with the exception of the really outraged African animals that angrily fester in their heated trees as the ambient temperature drops. It’s not as intense as the Berlin zoo, where they drop a cow into the lion cage à la Jurassic Park while parents look in horror and kids think it’s awesome. So here are some highlights. I don’t have any pictures of monkeys, because they don’t require too much imagination:

Steps to be a monkey:
1) Pick something that you do in private
2) Do it in public
3) Be covered in hair

On to the photographic evidence!

This is vaguely similar to the first 13 years of my life.

This is vaguely similar to the first 13 years of my life.

NO, DON’T GO IN THERE

NO, DON’T GO IN THERE

This is also the tagline of my favorite adult site.

This is also the tagline of my favorite adult site.

Fuck everything; here’s a cute sleeping otter.

Fuck everything; here’s a cute sleeping otter.

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • Reddit
  • del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • Furl
  • Google Bookmarks
  • E-mail this story to a friend!

11 Responses to “Hey Kid, Wanna Buy a Zebra?”

  1. ZinggniZ says:

    Haha, love it. Still, Southpark ruined the otter thing for me with that episode about Cartman wanting the wii.

  2. Rory says:

    D’awwwww
    Otters will always be cute. Always.
    Even if they are gnawing off my arm, they are cute.

  3. Dustin says:

    Ah, this brings back my childhood memories of visits to the Portland zoo, riding the train around and getting my wood chomped on by beavers.

    (I’m speaking of the Portland, OR zoo that is; were you talking about that one or Maine?)

  4. Wes says:

    That is indeed Portland, OR. Though I must say that the two Portlands must have some serious issues to put the entire country between them like that.

  5. Undiesclawfoot says:

    Is there anything wetter than an otter’s pocket?

  6. DeadMcMahon says:

    Heck, I’m sixteen and I still can’t control the floppy thing on my face.

  7. ASP SPAMBOT says:

    ?HAVE FAMILY ISSUES/PROBLEMS/DILEMMAS/PROBLEMS PUT DISTANCE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FAMILY¿

    LOW LOW PRICES ON WHISKEY ALCOHOLS — BARBITURATE YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS!

    FUNERAL PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN SO ROCK BOTTOM LOW – ACT NOW TO GE

  8. Tony says:

    spambot:

    yes. :(

  9. Wes says:

    Don’t do it, Tony! All Spambot does is send you bleach in an unlabeled glass bottle!

  10. ASP SPAMBOT says:

    “UNLABELED” BOTTLES OF “BLEACH” LOW LOW PRICE HIGH HIGH COST

  11. xy says:

    could i get some labeled bottles of bleach? i like to know the brand, it just makes me feel better.

Leave a Reply