Warning: strtotime(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

Warning: strtotime(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

Why Does Science Get All the Bodies?


Warning: strtotime(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/link-template.php on line 113

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/link-template.php on line 138

Science gets all of the best bodies. Meanwhile, other disciplines are left out in the cold, forgotten. Screw that. I’m going to donate my body to a field of study that needs it.

“But wait,” you might say, shouting at your computer in hopes that I could hear you through the magic electronic tubes, “an incalculable amount of discoveries are made when people donate their bodies to science! You are helping your fellow humans by giving researchers and surgeons valuable people parts!”

But nay, I say in response. What about the philosophy professor without the human corpse waiting by his doorstep, or the Greek literature scholar, depressed because nobody thought of her when looking for places to donate their lifeless husk? Imagine the joy in their eyes when they open their doors and see a recently deceased body flopped there, with a handwritten note that simply stated, “You thought we’d forgotten *wink*. “

So when thinking of places to mail off your remains, be sure to call up the Spanish or accounting studies departments of your local college or university. These people deserve your attention, too. Except marketing. Anything but marketing. They already have enough soulless corpses.

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • Reddit
  • del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • Furl
  • Google Bookmarks
  • E-mail this story to a friend!

11 Responses to “Why Does Science Get All the Bodies?”

  1. xy says:

    i think that i’ll give my body to the English Arts. they could use some corpses to inspire them, i hear Mary Shelley went grave robbing once a week.

  2. DeadMcMahon says:

    I believe I have already filled out forms donating my body to the Economics department at George Mason University.

    When I asked them what they were going to do with it, they mumbled something about “monetarism” and “the invisible hand” and then closed the door.

  3. Thor says:

    I’m donating my body to amazingsuperpowers.com.

  4. GrammarNazi says:

    I’m leaving my body to Maths, and it’ll serve them damn well right.

  5. Ely says:

    Mine’s already sitting at a desk at a college in NY

  6. Paul says:

    Screw those options. I’m leaving my body to ART. /flex

  7. Undiesclawfoot says:

    OK, so donating your body to whatever is cool. What about those wonderful folks who sell their bodies? Where’s their parade?!

  8. Tony says:

    The selling of bodies! It’s capitalism, the american way…!!

  9. Jonathan says:

    I should donate my body to ebay. They need more ad space and such.

  10. Bobby says:

    Music: They can use my femurs as drum sticks.

  11. xy says:

    Bobby-

    only if your femurs are exceptionally small

Leave a Reply