Cover letters are old fashioned. Nobody likes reading them, and nobody likes writing them. Instead, they should be replaced with any of the following:
Your Favorite Recipe
Include your recipe in front of your resume, such your favorite chocolate chip cookies. The recruiter will then bake the cookies and have the staff sample them. Granted, some postings get hundreds of applicants, but this guarantees a well-fed staff. Plus you can create more openings if there’s a nut allergy.
A Photograph of a Horse
You can learn a lot about a person by the type of horse they choose. A strong, industrious horse? Hard worker. A sleek, agile horse? Fast learner. Perhaps the applicant is in the photograph riding a horse, which tells your potential employer, “Hire me, I have access to a horse.”
A Picture of You in the Future, Working at the Company
By providing physical evidence of you getting the job, the recruiter will have no choice but to hire you for fear of tearing a hole in the spacetime continuum and creating a singularity in the middle of their HQ.
Enjoy your new careers, everyone!