Did you know that if you ask a priest for forgiveness, he HAS to give it to you? Pretty screwed up, right? It’s through this loophole that a number of clever folks have really bamboozled the Big Guy Upstairs. I once heard that two priests teamed up to forgive each other, while one of them would mug people and the other would pour animal urine on their recently mugged victims! Where are those priests now? Heaven. Where are their victims? Covered in animal urine, and in Hell. Except for one of them who is still alive and kicking in West Covina, but if she doesn’t Accept The Lord she’s headed straight to hell with the rest of them!

If I had a million dollars, I’d hire a team of priests to follow me around, and forgive me for everything I do! It’s basically the Fear of Going to Hell that keeps me from being a total sociopath, and I’d really like to try pouring animal urine on people after mugging them! It sounds like so much fun. *Sigh*