It’s tough being a snake! Not only are you in the dirt all day, but you have to put your mouth on strangers to defend yourself. Some critters have claws, spines, or poison tails, but you don’t even have legs! What a joke evolution played on you by transforming your body into an angry tube.

Also, here’s a fun fact: the two dudes appearing in this comic bid in a small charity auction for the “privilege” of having themselves drawn in an ASP strip. So Mike and Harry, we don’t know if you actually enjoy sucking on butts, but either way that’s your business and we’re in no place to judge. Suck away, fellas! It’s a free country! We hope you are as generous as lovers as you were as bidders.