Those campers who are out to defend their sexuality from being stolen from them by kissing-conducive sleeping arrangements are far from crazy! All kinds of things can turn you gay at a moment’s notice! Here’s a short list of things guaranteed to turn you gay instantly and irreversibly.

♥ Getting bitten by a radioactive gay person.

♥ Getting caught in a nuclear reactor with a gay person.

♥ Getting caught in a belt of cosmic gay radiation.

♥ Testing a teleporter on yourself, realizing all-too-late that there is a gay person trapped in there with you, and having your DNA all jumbled up so that you slowly turn into a gay person which ruins your relationship with Geena Davis.

♥ Being born gay.

♥ Gay serum.

So watch out, clearly the world is out to turn you gay against your will, and if you’re not careful how close your buddy’s face gets to your face, you might just end up suddenly and inexplicably having a different sexual preference!