Transformers 2 Reviewon June 28, 2009 at 6:47 pm
The internet is filling up with Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen film reviews. As a member of the internet, I feel obligated to throw my hat into the ring with my own review. Unfortunately, all of the showings in my area were sold out, so I had to borrow a bootleg copy. If you are from the FBI please don’t read that last sentence.
The movie opening was surprisingly slow. A voiceover from Optimus Prime described the backstory while a very obvious CGI feather fell into the frame. As far as action-packed openings go, I was very underwhelmed. Once the story got moving though, it did a fine job of reeling me back in.
I was surprised by how much of the story was told through flashbacks. It made everything that occurred in the present day seem unrelated and disjointed. While he was charming, Optimus Prime’s voice didn’t instill fear or reverence like I thought it should. Instead, it was more of a friendly Southern drawl.
It was also frustrating to see how infrequently the Transformers changed into robot form. Come on! I went into this film expecting to see giant robots punching each other, but instead they were always disguised as cars, neatly parked in the background.
One aspect that I appreciated was that it took place over the entire globe. One moment we’re in the plains of the United States, then suddenly our hero is battling the Decepticons alongside the military in Vietnam! My heart was racing when he used his jet-engine-like speed to save his injured commander.
Then the movie really deviated when Prime ventured out on a fishing boat to catch shrimp for the rest of the movie. They really lost me there.
The weirdest part is that even though it was a bootleg copy, the DVD had cover art of Optimus Prime sitting on a park bench. Recasting him to be Tom Hanks still strikes me as an odd choice.
Overall, I enjoyed the film. As the credits rolled I realized that the ancient wisdom of the Autobots was strangely relevant: Michael Bay’s movies are like “a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re going to get.”
Uhhhh… yeah…. you MAY have watched Forrest Gump by accident…
The first third of your review is like “this seems similar to Forrest Gump… The second brings in the “I’m pretty sure you watched the wrong movie… and the Final paragraph seals the deal.
You, Sir, make me cry.
Sir, you are a complete and utter moron.
And it’s your duty, as a citizen of the Internet, to let him know just how much of a moron he is.
And it is your duty to tell him that it’s his duty.
Is it bad that I laughed because I typed duty twice? three times now.
Well I saw the first one and now this review has me even more excited for the sequel. I can’t wait to see optimus kick some Vietnamese ass!
There are bootleg copies of Forrest Gump on the internet?
I almost cried when Hotrod died in the jungle *_*
Optimus is my hero, he is so hardcore.
I love the way he broke free of the Decepticon leg restraints at the start of the film.
what was most surprising to me is that megatron
only appeared once the entire film, and then
he was passed out on an energon-cube bender.
he had crushed the energon cubes into a fine powder
on a mirror in his apartment.
Dear Sir and/or…Maddam,
Up-onst reading your review of the movie “Optimis Gump”, I, Squiggly Adams ,bastard brother of John Quincy Adams, was deeply moved, and removed (as to say i was moved a second time) Ebert and Ropert’s four thumbs up fail in comparison to this review. Furthermore, I Squiggly Adams, father of a Def Leopard fan, daughter of a confused jellyfish, decree that from this moment onwards, all other reviews of said review shall be banned. In addition to the banning, any of the reviews in question that aren’t on readily burnable paper, shall be made into a more flammable medium. When the last step is completed, all of the fore mentioned reviews shall be dropped into a hole that leads straight into the fires of heavens antonym (hell), which resides in the backyard of
39 Squiggley Road
Thank you again dear citizen for this most superior review, the fuehrer of all reviews.
Buenos Suerte Comrade,
Co. Signed by: Squiggly Adams (worshiper of worms)
I have no idea what happened…the film i saw in theaters was TOTALLY different than this pirated version. THE MEDIA MUST BE LYING TO US! Pirates would never lie and cheat us like that. I am going to march right back to my local cinema and demand a refund for false advertisement.
I’d call you if I had your number. Babe.
That’s nothing. Did you know that that new Star Trek movie was nothing but an hour and a half of amateur porn? I wouldn’t have minded so much but all those transsexuals made it a bit over stranger than I had been prepared for. Talk about “more than meets the eye”!
At least it wasn’t more than meats the eye.
Yes, I hate it when that happens. Not that it has. Not that I can remember.
I loved it when Lt. BumbleBee got those “Magic Legs” as Optimus Gump put it. Also, it was heart warming that even after fighting in Vietnam, he could settle down and marry a Vietnamese woman.
Serious note: Those robot twins were definitely the Jar Jar Binks of the movie. Harsh words, but true.
I hate my life
Also, there was aids
everyone has aids.
I learned the true meanin of love starting at paragraph 4. Stupid is as stupid does
Will Bubba make another appearance when GI Joe comes out?
I do not have aids.
You do now.
I got fuckin’ rick roll’d, amazingsuperpowers style.
That was a good one