8. Rhino Horn

Because at least you still have company despite the stabbing.

Because at least you still have company despite the stabbing.

7. My Own Sword

This is a toss-up, because it could be a result of great chivalry or great clumsiness.

This is a toss-up, because it could be a result of great chivalry or great clumsiness.

6. Huge Icicle

If the forensics team doesn’t get there in time they would just have to list the cause of death as the mysterious “hole-itis”

If the forensics team doesn’t get there in time they would just have to list the cause of death as the mysterious “hole-itis”

5. A Live Eel

There’s nothing quite like getting impaled by a wriggling sentient phallus.

There’s nothing quite like getting impaled by a wriggling sentient phallus.

4. Pointy Stick While Skiing

It was seeing this that spawned the list. The worst part would be watching everyone passing by, still having a good time, with no kabob through their abdomen.

It was seeing this that spawned the list. The worst part would be watching everyone passing by, still having a good time, with no kabob through their abdomen.

3. Two Narwhals

Unicorns turned into real jerks when they got chased into the ocean. Plus there are TWO of them.

Unicorns turned into real jerks when they got chased into the ocean. Plus there are TWO of them.

2. Carrot in the Eye

COMPLETE OPPOSITE USUAL PURPOSE

COMPLETE OPPOSITE USUAL PURPOSE

1. The Iwo Jima Memorial

Because it's unsettling to imagine five dudes that hate you enough to team up to stab you.

Because it's unsettling to imagine five dudes that hate you enough to team up to stab you.