The core of market research is listening to people and then giving them exactly what they want. What a terrible idea! Have you ever met a person? Most market research looks like, “Yes, I suppose if this existed, it would give me fleeting happiness until I accepted it as the new standard and started thinking about death again.”

That’s why instead of market research companies collect loads of data of what people DO. This explains why people don’t expect to read instruction manuals anymore, and why the most popular operating systems are the ones that are nearly impossible to break. Every time you somehow manage to screw up your phone that has ONE BUTTON it sends that data to some giant server that stores the aggregated mistakes of humanity, which then tells the developers that some special someone out there managed to do the impossible and break everything.

It’s true, every click that you’ve ever made on a popular website is recorded, analyzed, and used to influence design decisions. Every single one! The same is true for dating sites, which means that lurking in their servers is all the data needed to quantify and calculate HUMAN SEXUALITY. This obviously raises some serious concerns, the biggest of which is why aren’t they using that data to make the sexiest robot ever??