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Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

Warning: strtotime(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

Historical Innaccuracies


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It his been made abundantly clear by a number of ASP readers that Edward Smith, Captain of the RMS Titanic, died aboard the ship as it sank. We apologize if we insulted your intelligence with our most recent comic. God forbid we do any comics that would mislead you with historical inaccuracies.

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28 Responses to “Historical Innaccuracies”

  1. abitdark says:

    OH MY GOD, THAT ISN’T WHAT THEY TAUGHT ME IN SCHOOL!!!!

    *Puts gun to mouth*

  2. Lindsay says:

    My intelligence is still somewhat insulted. Something tells me that this blog post was sarcastic, but I’m not sure what lead me to that assumption. Oh well, I’ll just assume it was a well-intentioned apology. Apology accept ASP!

  3. Lindsay says:

    Oh jeeze, I meant “apology accepted”…now I’ve made myself look like a fool on the ASP blog…I fear I must now commit suicide.

  4. Thor says:

    Oh dear me! Amazingsuperpowers made a comic that didn’t 100% co-relate to real life! Has this happened before?!? Is teenage pumkin head not a real person? Was truth serum a lie as well?!? And I suppose ghosts can’t drink beer after death either!
    I can’t believe you two could lie and manipulate us like this. I am very ashamed.
    Also roaches can’t really survive a nuclear bomb, while we’re on the subject.

  5. xy says:

    Really? who complained about that? I would never complain about how comics are full of inaccurate, inconsistent information.

    oh wait, I do that all the time. just not about ASP because it’s so awesome.

  6. TrikYodz says:

    i totally used kurt kobains comic as proof thats how it actually happened.
    you owe me a highschool diploma.

  7. Tony says:

    Lucky for you, I’m not using mine. You can have my college diploma, too, if you’d like.

  8. Weirdo says:

    Also, William Tell used a crossbow in the story. It’s been eating away at me for awhile but I couldn’t see anywere to bring it up.

  9. Mr Pasty says:

    Also fish aren’t depressed mine’s always dancing around and bobbing up and down, he loves it when I put potassium in his tank! Oh and I tested this one, fish don’t do well with drugs!

  10. Wes says:

    Still better than putting a brick of sodium in his tank.

  11. Jesse says:

    Tony! I challenge the intention of that comment. I want you to mail me your high school and college diplomas.

  12. Jesse says:

    Seriously. I’ll e-mail you my mailing address.

  13. DeadMcMahon says:

    ATTN SIRS AND/OR MADAMS:

    I have found a slight inaccuracy in #138, “Shampoo.” I understand that quality is your highest priority, which is why I have brought this particular error to your attention. The bargain bin moisturizer is not called “Dr. Poofinger’s” but rather “Dr. Bronner’s.” While the mistake is understandable, I’m afraid it is unexcusable. I trust that the necessary fixes will be made.

  14. Mr Pasty says:

    Sodium, yes i suppose fresh fish don’t like salt water much……………..damn. Well at least he’ll be seasoned!

  15. Wes says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oWCU2FXf2w

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JD85OUkEKKw

  16. Robster the hambot says:

    My name is Yon Yonson,
    I work in Wisconsin,
    I work in a lumbermill there.
    The people I meet when I walk down the street,
    They say, “What’s your name?”
    And I say,
    “My name is Yon Yonson,
    I work in Wisconsin…”

    BTW if you’re ever in Cody, Wyoming just ask for Wild Bob.
    So it goes.

  17. Confused says:

    Oh Wes, your videos remind me of a simpler time… A time when we would ‘borrow’ dry-ice from a friend’s parent’s supermarket…

    Sigh, it seems like yesterday.

  18. EvilGod says:

    Inaccuracies in your comics are acceptable to most of your three point two billion readers.
    DeadMcMahon’s use of “unexcusable” is inexcusable.

  19. GeekSoldier says:

    Holy prairie squid, batman! is that the sacred Ikon I see adorning that man’s spaulder?

  20. Tony says:

    yo, i *gotta* have my slack.

  21. GeekSoldier says:

    You have just been upgraded from my “visit whenever I feel like” list to my “open with firefox” list. Congrats!

  22. Zac says:

    I would like to see a comic about Nixon’s failed ping pong coup d’eta

  23. Thor says:

    Also guys, wizards aren’t real, that’s another 10 points you’ve lost.
    Seriously, if you keep this up I will taser you both.

  24. ASP SPAMBOT says:

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  25. Thor says:

    Please tell me more, I am sure that Wes and Tony will do this many times more and I really don’t want to spend millions on “taser you both.”

  26. Confused says:

    I clicked SPAMBOT, but nothing changed…

  27. Mr Pasty says:

    Clicking SPAMBOT takes you to http://www.poonography.com.
    Maybe you only thought that you were clicking ASP SPAMBOT has that affect on people! dOesNt iT MasTeR…………..*Drool*

  28. Confused says:

    I was promised growth of epic proportions for my manhood! I demand consumer justice for all!

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