Warning: strtotime(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

Warning: strtotime(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 35

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 43

Wes and Tony are Real People!!


Warning: strtotime(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/link-template.php on line 113

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/wp-includes/link-template.php on line 138

Did you know that?

Yes, the truth is that AmazingSuperPowers.com is run by actual human people beings. While it initially might seem likely that the site exists out of simple chance within the glut of infinite possibility that is the internet, it simply isn’t the case. The site has creators! Who created the site deliberately!

Let me tell you some facts about the site creators, Wes and Tony:

FACT: Wes and Tony have a combined age of 121 years.
FACT: One of the two is an infant.
FACT: One of the two wears diapers.
FACT: But both of them should.
FACT: AmazingSuperPowers.com was begrudgingly created to satisfy a stipulation of a federal court ruling against Wes and Tony.
FACT: They either had to create a website or perform 2,000 hours of community service.
FACT: The charge against them was treason.
FACT: 2,000 hours community service ain’t bad for treason.
FACT: Wes once found a Chinese Fortune Cookie that has his entire life (past, present, and future) written on it.
FACT: Things don’t end well for Wes.
FACT: But the Chow Mein was delicious.
FACT: Wes and Tony frequently arm wrestle.
FACT: Tony’s arm wears a luchador mask.
FACT: Wes’ arm looks like this.
FACT: Tony’s favorite seasoning for french fries is itching powder.
FACT: Wes and Tony once went on tour with Bruce “the Boss” Springsteen.
FACT: Their position in the band was, “Those two assholes who keep following us around and don’t leave the Boss alone.”
FACT: Wes and Tony didn’t leave “the Boss” alone until he told them they were “fired.”
FACT: You cannot collect unemployment from the federal government if “fired” by Bruce Springsteen.
FACT: Tony is illiterate and has scabies.
FACT: Wes is a simple farmer from rural Portugal, charged with the task of finding and killing his shadow self before he is killed in turn.
FACT: Now you know everything there is to know about Wes and Tony.

:-|

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • Reddit
  • del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • Furl
  • Google Bookmarks
  • E-mail this story to a friend!

17 Responses to “Wes and Tony are Real People!!”

  1. xy says:

    are there any true FACTS in the whole thing or are they the same kind of “facts” fox news reports on?

  2. carlos says:

    Fact: Tony and Wes eat diarrhea in the morning because they think it tastes like oatmeal.

  3. Adam says:

    I tried following the Boss around too. Turns out it was Tony Danza. I guess we finally answered that question.

  4. Tony says:

    Carlos:

    Self renewing food supply, what’s not to like?

  5. ocdude says:

    You forgot the part where tony escaped from prison while being a Mexican gangster

  6. abitdark says:

    OH MY GOD THEY ARE REAL!!!!

    I CAN’T THE FACTS!!!!

    *puts gun to mouth*

  7. DeadMcMahon says:

    Itching powder on french fries? I am intrigued.

    …and itchy.

  8. Confused says:

    FACT: Wes was stabbed multiple times with a Nintendo 64 controller for “cheating”.
    FACT: Tony was incarcerated briefly under the juvenile delinquent act.

  9. Fab says:

    Obviously, this is all an elaborate plot, either conducted by the government or some sort of intelligent alien species.

    >.>

    <.<

    If you want the true facts, you have to only read every fifth word of the list.

  10. Tony says:

    I FOUND OUT THINGSABOUT MYSELF THAT I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW

  11. SenorFrick says:

    I actually took every fifth word from the list. Here it is:

    A years is the both AmazingSuperPowers.com satisfy federal and to perform service was service Wes Fortune entire future don’t but delicious arm a looks seasoning itching once Bruce their was keep and alone leave he fired from fired is Wes from the killing he now is and

    Make any more sense?

  12. Confused says:

    FACT: Tony had amnesia and his memory never returned.
    FACT: Wes feels remorse for hitting someone on the head with a croquet mallet.

  13. xy says:

    is Wes from the killing? he now is.

  14. Thor says:

    Damn it, Wesbot and Tonybot are becoming self aware.

  15. abitdark says:

    *bows to delicious itchy arms, gun still to mouth*

  16. Fab says:

    I just knew someone would come along and do that, and save me the trouble.

    Now you know the truth.

Leave a Reply