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Fearless Predictions for the New Year


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  • Due to global slowing, October will come one month after November.
  • Crime will start paying, but with high health insurance premiums.
  • The dead will rise when a cemetery explodes. Then they’ll fall.
  • Bears will become illegal.
  • The spell will be broken and Julia Roberts will turn back into a pumpkin.
  • Free ice cream for everyone! … Just kidding. Plague.
  • Everyone gets fatter.
  • Walt Disney will be thawed when they discover a cure for casual racism.
  • All forms of currency will be replaced with bullets and pogs.
  • The usual shitstorm.
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7 Responses to “Fearless Predictions for the New Year”

  1. Laura says:

    Wait bears are legal NOW????

    WOOO BEAR
    PARTY AT MY PLACE

  2. Thor says:

    Some of theese predictions clash with my new years resoloution, survive the year.

  3. Undiesclawfoot says:

    Oh that’s just typical- I paid good money for the plague last year…

  4. Crazzee says:

    I don’t think I’ll survive this year. Darn, I was looking forward to Duke Nukem Forever.

  5. DeadMcMahon says:

    Hahaha my collection of pogs is finally worth something

  6. Cobra says:

    So does this mean Slammers will be worth more? I still have my pogs too.

    … and what if the plague was spread from the free ice-cream? I could totally see this as a continuation of the rapebot5000 or Launch nukes holocaust clip.

  7. Ely says:

    I’ll give you 50 pogs for your shoes.

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