It’s been a tragic week here at Amazing Super Powers as we’ve had to cope with the loss of a loved one. Normally, ASP’s stoic motto is “Bury your dead,” but not today. Today Wes and I weep like little sissy women children wimp sissies. At approximately 10:32 PM on Thursday, August 21st I discovered that the Bob’s Big Boy restaurant on Wilshire Boulevard in Los AngelesĀ  has been slain. What was hands down our favorite dining establishment in all of Los Angeles -that at our best we patronized weekly- has been toppled, butched, and barbaricly slain. Nothing but several grey bricks remain strewn about a vacant lot, several piles of debris with twisted shoots of rebar reaching to the sky, shouting the word “WHY?!” at a god who is too uncaring or immaterial to have intervened. For the time being, the Bob’s Big Boy sign still stands. Where it once stood proud and confident, it is now a lonely and solemn beacon to the all the damned and heartbroken ghosts of Los[t] Angeles.

While exact time of death is unknown to me, a little detective work has revealed that cause of demise was Death by Cliche. Big Boy Wilshire was torn down to make room for a car dealership, and any research into the matter will show that dealerships have a mean penchant for murdering Big Boys. Now, this is nothing I’m ready to tie a noose over. There are other Big Boys (although they are unfortunately lacking in the charm and quality of the individually owned Wilshire location), and we will always have the memories of hours spent at our corner booth that they always knew to seat us at, drinking chocolate milk shakes and cup after cup of coffee, solving an existential crisis over the classic Big Boy Combo. I suppose, thinking about it now, that this loss doesn’t belong to us. This loss belongs to each and every one of you who never had the chance to cram your gullet full of The Boy’s unique brand of stale, greasy Americana.

I’m not too good and being sentimental, so to wrap this up, I say fare thee well, Big Boy! You were a greater friend than I ever could have hoped from a restaurant.